The Plan

"It's so great to see you, thanks for coming." If she only knew, if she only knew how great it was to see her, to finally see her...to be able to get answers. Did she know that all of our (or at least my) hopes and dreams for my babies were hanging on what she had to say this morning? I tried to look calm, together and under control, if you know me, you know that I probably didn't. Chris was quiet, but if you know him, that's what he does too.


The shiny blue folder slid across the table to me, sparkling as if it were stars shining in the crystal clear mid-night sky of Texas...I remember that sky from a dove hunt with my favorite hunting partners; Daddy & Jenny...as always, I digress. Inside the folder are packets of disertation regarding the official diagnosis of my precious Russell B. Frantically, I am scanning for anything that I understand, anything that provides an answer, anything that...is written in a language I can understand! What is with these doctor-types? They write everything in terminology that only they can understand.

Cindy's calm and smiling face comes to rest beside Chris at the table, who, has been looking at me with the "what the heck does it say" face the entire time I was attempting to interpret the exposition. I believe we both began the nervous fidgeting at this point. Cindy giggles in a very understanding and knowing manner and offers to explain the results to us. There are graphs and charts and paragraphs and more paragraphs follwed by additional paragraphs about the outcome of Russ's one-and-a-half-hour assesment last week. Cindy begins with the three types of dyslexia and which one it is that Russ has, dysphoneidetic or "mixed" dyslexia which means he has a little bit of all the characteristics...this is extremly common. Why at this moment am I so relieved that I cannot even hear what she is saying any longer? Why, why in the world would I be so elated that she just reveled test results confirming my child's disorder? It is because now, now we can begin to learn, to heal...now we begin to live!

Our meeting goes on for about an hour and we leave knowing that Russ, who should rate about a 3.2 (third grade, second month) is on average a 1.5 (first grade, fifth month). Bless his heart...I cannot imagine his stuggles, trying to do third grade work on a first grade education/ability...the clarity at this point is sickening! However disheartning the results maybe, there is such hope. Hope that when he reaches 4th grade, he will be able to function completely, without need for modification, AT GRADE LEVEL! Who would have ever thought?

We start next week, we start with the plan. All I have been needing for weeks is a plan and now we have it...now we have the plan.