The Picture

My mother-in-law "suggested" we have the boy's pictures taken for her Christmas present this year. We take a million snap shots throughout the year and my computer at home is filled with pictures of them, but this wasn't what she was talking about. No, she meant the dreaded "family picture"...you know, put on some-what cordinated clothing, comb your hair and smile pretty for the wierd person waving the feather duster and repeating "fuzzy pickles" a million times. If you have a mother, or a mother-in-law, you know that the subtle (or not so subtle) suggestion means that you will immediately get in the car and participate in the antics of the photographer to hopefully catch the perfect moment.

While Chris and I have many friends who are accomplished and/or budding photographers who would have made this experience much more personal and quite memorable, we have procrastinated until there is no appropriate outdoor setting and 30 degree temperatures. Thus, we herd into the portrait studio with the rest of Cool Springs for 86 "fuzzy pickles" and a couple of "smelly feet". The gift that I'm sure my mother-in-law thought was $9.95 as advertised in the coupon that accompanied the "suggestion", rounded out at about $200 by the time we included all the pictures that our friendly photographer suggested, Chris requested and Caleb was going to die without not to mention a brown shirt for Chris, jeans for Derek and haircuts for everyone

(except me, who you will notice desperately needs one).

Time is flying by and we are just trying to hang on and keep things going. The craziness of these times will soon be forgotten. So, while our photo shoot might not have been the most exciting two-hours of our holiday season, we left with a couple pictures that we'll have in the years to come. Pictures that we can look back on and remember that Caleb had just celebrated his 6th birthday, Russ was laughing so hard through the entire shoot that we had trouble getting pictures of him with his eyes open and without the plastered "smile" and that Derek HATED his haircut. We'll remember that Chris was not at all happy that we were getting our pictures taken and that Caleb kept telling Lauren (our photograhper) "he is a police man, that's why he can't smile." It was hysterical.

I don't know if everyone's experience in front a photographer is as stressful and exhausting as ours, but I'm hoping not...or maybe I'm hoping so because if not, then there's even more wrong with us than I think! Regardless of the hoops it took to get there, our family has once again, been frozen forever in the picture.

Answered Prayers

I spent almost all day yesterday thinking about all the exhausting things that are going on in our world and in the lives of my friends and family. I have been overcome with grief and sadness for each of my friends who are suffering with sickness and death in their families; my heart is heavy for others who are struggling to find money for bills, much less Christmas presents and I have been burdened with uncertanities in my own position and how we would survive financially beginning next month. I have suffered in silence for most of these as I know that others are laden with their own stresses and don't need to waller with me. Not to mention that in the grand scheme of things, my family is healthy, we have our basic needs met and we are together; what more could someone actually want. There is so much to be Thankful for. Still, my mind has constantly been consumed with the worry and incertitude of our future.

Today, I was handed an answer to so many of my personal prayers. My job, which was scheduled to transition next month has been extended for an additional six months; the kind and compasionate, always generous owner of our company has provided for five months of my children's dyslexia therapy next year and I was given two accounts to manage that are providing additional income. For the first time in weeks, I feel like I have taken a complete breath.

"Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn, yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than the birds!" Luke 12:22-25

My heart is still broken for the stuggles we are all facing and I still miss my friend, Tim, imensely; those things will not change. But now, I can focus on loving my friends and being God's arms on earth for them without distraction for my own needs. God is good, all the time and today, I'm praising him for answered prayers.

The Surprises

"Today is the 4th, today is my birthday" he exclaimed as he bounded out of bed this morning. Caleb has been counting down the days to his birthday since Monday. Every morning he has reminded me of the date and when his birthday is...like I could forget!

We never expected this little life to join ours; you see, he is our own little marvel. I can remember being sick, oh so sick for a week or more, and only at night. Finally, after I threw up for and hour and half straight, I decided it was time to take the test. I don't even know why, but I did. Immediately, there was no denying it. I remember calling my sister...and it was LATE, "So, how do you feel about being an Aunt again?" She just kinda giggled; maybe she thought I was kidding. Chris was at work and I toyed with the idea of waiting until the morning to tell him because I had no idea what his reaction would be. Who can lay there with such news and not share it and why should I ponder alone? He answers the phone and tells me he's headed to serve a warrant...oh, bad timing I think, probably out loud. I told him to call me when he was done. I guess he could hear the "secret" in my voice because he proceeded to tell me everyone was waiting on him and he wasn't getting out of the car until I told him what I needed. Realizing there was no escape, I just blurted it out, scared to death of what he might say back...not that it was my fault or we could do anything about it. Well, that terd just died laughing at me. And that, was the beginning of surprises that this little moster brought us.

We didn't find out if he was to be a girl or a boy and all bets were on a girl because everything with him was different...everything from the way I carried him to the way I felt and all the wierd things that happened while I was pregnant. Derek and Russ were both early by at least one week...Caleb was late by the same. Labor with the first two rounds, quick and ultimately easy, the third time was NOT a charm. D and R, 7 pounds 10 & 11 ounces...C, 9 1 1/2 . He looked like a toddler!! Oh, did I mention...he was very, very, very far from a girl. I remember when Dr. Groos held him up, I just burst out laughing and yelled loud enough to everyone in the hallway that we were all wrong! It took me forever to get over it; I felt like he had pulled some big switch-a-roo on us. it was hysterical!

The surprises just keep coming. We never know what is going to come out of his mouth and we never know what he'll do next. The second we figure it out, he changes it all around. I guess he just wants to keep us on our toes. Maybe we should have named him something foreign that means surprise, but we didn't realize what we were in for. There is no telling where this little punkin will lead us next or what great surprises we'll encounter along the way, but we're blessed to have shared his world for six years and we're looking forward to many, many more.

Happy birthday sweet boy; you are one of my most favorite surprises!

The "C"

As I cautiously opened the "beary good work blue folder" (which is actually red now), I searched for the all-telling sticker to reassure me that we had successfully completed another day of kindergarten. It was there and I breathed yet another thankful breath and muttered a "thank you Jesus" as I began sifting through the papers and work that accompanied our daily report. There it was, hidden behind a cut and paste activity... at first glance, the lenghty hand-written notes on the page would lead a well-experienced mother such as myself to be overly concerned, but the but the big purple smiley face helped to assure me it was worth closer look.

"Notice his 'C' is not backwards. He is trying so hard!" I almost fell into the floor. "Caleb is doing SO (yes capitalized and underlined twice) Great! I sit next to him in class and a lot times he copies my work but I make him tell me the answers first!...seriously, if she hadn't used his name in the sentence, I might have questioned who's child she was discussing. This was a the greatest early Christmas present I think I've ever received. Well, maybe there has been one more, but I digress and that's for another time and place!

Who would have ever known that a "C" facing the right instead of the left could create such joy and excitment in a household? There were brothers shouting, parents jumping up and down and animals looking at us all like we had lost our minds. It was a full-on party at the Woodard house! I wish I had thought to take a picture of the greatest part though...the beaming face of my sweet baby-boy who had tasted victory and success! It's okay that we don't have it because none of us will ever forget that moment...it is etched in our memories forever.

You see, this "C" has meant so much to our lives recently. It was this backwards "C" that lead us to Cindy, our guardian angel at Dyslexia Center of Tennessee (DCT). It was this "C" that has brought us to this point of such hope. This backwards "C" was the beginning of a successful future for two of my boys. If it hadn't been for this backwards "C", we would still be floundering around wondering what in the world we were doing wrong and how our sweet Russy could be working so hard and not accomplishing his goals. We wouldn't understand why our Caleb-monster was just that...a monster when he is frustrated because he realizes the things he is doing are backwards or incorrect. Without this crazy backwards "C", our lives wouldn't be in such a great place right now. This "C" has brought about amazing change in the Woodard's World!

To add to the monumental success of this "C", our precious teacher, Mrs. Pantall left for maternity leave before Thanksgiving as did our wonderful educational assistant, Ms. Mindy. It has been a scary time for the parents of this special little boy, wondering how he would react to a new teacher and assistant and if he would continue to thrive and grow or shut down completely. If day two of Mrs. Swanson and Mrs. Chris's class is any indication of our future, Mrs. Pantall is going to return to class in March and scream out loud! You see, that's what Mrs. Pantall does when you do something fantastic in her classroom...she screams out loud because she gets so excited. Caleb just giggles talking about how she would have screamed if she had seen it.

So, go ahead, take a look for yourself...even scream out loud if you want...no one in my house will think anything of it...heck, we're still here celebrating ourselves. Celebrating the 'C'

Job Well Done

One week ago today, my sweet friend Becky (to the left) called me to tell me that the love her life, Tim, had been called home to his Lord and Savior. I can remember clearly the sadness in her tone, but even more than that, I remember the protection in her voice, protecting me from what she was saying. In my slumberous stupor, I asked her three times to repeat what she had said, "Tim didn't make it"...I couldn't imagine that I heard her correctly. I had seem Tim & Becky in the emergency room just four days beforehand and I was very aware that Tim had been sick, but the multiple conversations that Becky and I had between our encounter at the ER and this painful phone call never foreshadowed this event.

Of course, there were the questions of what and when and how, but my focus turned immediately to Becky and Trey and how we could love them the way Tim always loved on all of us. You see, Tim Sewell was the man you loved instantly; he was just that type of guy, the man who lived out all of his convictions, morals and values, a true example of God's love on earth. He and Becky became our friends almost two years ago after they moved here from Memphis for Tim's job. I remember meeting them at the ball field and realizing that Trey had been one of "my kids" while I was subbing at Page Middle School. Derek and Trey became fast friends on the ball field and we even drug him along on vacation with us. Becky is the quiet type but we have become great friends despite our polar opposite personalities. Chris and Tim called nearly 100% of every baseball game at Bethesda together for the past two years; they were pretty inseparable on the field and made a great team. I remember when they became friends...it was in Cookeville at a tournament that they were coaching for Trey and Derek...it was early in the season two years ago and Chris and Tim paled around while I hung with my mom and sister; Becky wasn't there because she was in Memphis with a friend of her's who's mother had passed away. That's the Sewell's for you, always going the extra mile to love on someone else!

The last week has been a whirlwind of emotions; oh how all three Woodard boys love their "Timmy"...Caleb Woodard would run past his own parents to get his arms around Tim Sewell and Russ had been known to spend the night there even when Derek wasn't going over. Derek had a super special relationship with Tim; while their relationship was built on the ball field, he knew Tim Sewell loved him probably as much as Chris and I do. Last year, before school-ball tryouts, Chris was out of town for work; Tim and Trey drug Derek up to the ball fields at Bethesda every night and worked all of the kinks out for him...he made the team and Tim was the first person he called. Again, that was Tim always going the extra mile. I can still hear the hurt in Derek's voice when I told him last Sunday...that is a pain I won't quickly forget. And then, I will always remember him looking me in the eye and saying "I need to see Trey"...he didn't know what to say when we got there and he didn't know what to do, but he knew he needed to be there with him.

Derek went to the funeral with us and he too noticed how my sweet friend spent the entire time comforting everyone else. As you walked up to her, she would hold you and tell you how much Tim loved you and how it was all going to be okay; she was a rock, she was amazing. I couldn't help but think about how their entire lives are a living legacy of God's love and how He is in control. She called me Monday from Memphis as they were heading to make all the funeral arrangements and I just sobbed on the phone...she laughed at me! "It's going to be okay Kaycie" she said. I've talked to her multiple times and every time, she's holding her own; however, constantly reminding me that it isn't her keeping it together.

They are coming back home today and I can't wait to see her, to get my arms around her for longer than 5 minutes. I know she has been home with her family and their friends in Memphis, but we love them here too and want to love her the way that she and Tim have loved us for the last two years. I don't even know how to do that, but we'll keep trying until we get it right!

We never know what the Lord has in store for us, but we know that He has a plan and that our life here is short. I challenge us all to live our lives in a way that when our family faces our home going they will have the love and support of others who's lives we have touched and bettered. That is the life that God calls us to live. That is the life that Tim Sewell lived and as I have shared with many of our friends over the past week, the crown of jewels that he is wearing in heaven must be heavy! I can only imagine the joy in Tim's heart when the Lord looked at him last Sunday and said "Son, I am proud, job well done."

The Reins

Where in the world have you been?...that is the sentiment of most all of my friends lately, so you aren't alone if you are wondering.

Basketball is in full swing and for two months, Amy (my friend and co-commissioner) and I have been drowning in basketball! Now, we're just managing our own three teams (each) and everyone else's. Russ is covered up with homework and dyslexia center work so I feel like we're constantly doing homework...and he hates EVERY minute of all of it. Derek played soccer at school and I swear there were games everyday and he squeezed in a baseball travel team try-out as well (we haven't heard back from that yet). Caleb has been working just as hard as Russ to try and figure out everything he's supposed to be learning...we're reading books, practicing letters and trying our darnedest to learn that a C faces the right, and not the left. Chris went out of town for a week in there somewhere for negotiator level three school, so if you ever need help getting one of your children to let go of one of the other ones; he's your man! My office is CRAZY...we are running full speed ahead in what often seems like circles! My sister and sister-in-law both had birthdays (on the same day) in October...we celebrated with Brandi at the annual "Pretty Pretty Princess Party" that included costumes this year...they have been BANNED going forward and Jenny went out of town with her hubby to celebrate the big 3-0. Other than a blur of these events, I'm not even sure how we got from September to Thanksgiving.

Life is barrelling on and I feel completely out of control...God is telling me it's time to slow down, it's time to step back and hand over the reins...I don't want the reins; haven't ever wanted them. I'm praying that whatever is causing me to cling to them will be relinquished to the one who reigns.

The Plan

"It's so great to see you, thanks for coming." If she only knew, if she only knew how great it was to see her, to finally see her...to be able to get answers. Did she know that all of our (or at least my) hopes and dreams for my babies were hanging on what she had to say this morning? I tried to look calm, together and under control, if you know me, you know that I probably didn't. Chris was quiet, but if you know him, that's what he does too.


The shiny blue folder slid across the table to me, sparkling as if it were stars shining in the crystal clear mid-night sky of Texas...I remember that sky from a dove hunt with my favorite hunting partners; Daddy & Jenny...as always, I digress. Inside the folder are packets of disertation regarding the official diagnosis of my precious Russell B. Frantically, I am scanning for anything that I understand, anything that provides an answer, anything that...is written in a language I can understand! What is with these doctor-types? They write everything in terminology that only they can understand.

Cindy's calm and smiling face comes to rest beside Chris at the table, who, has been looking at me with the "what the heck does it say" face the entire time I was attempting to interpret the exposition. I believe we both began the nervous fidgeting at this point. Cindy giggles in a very understanding and knowing manner and offers to explain the results to us. There are graphs and charts and paragraphs and more paragraphs follwed by additional paragraphs about the outcome of Russ's one-and-a-half-hour assesment last week. Cindy begins with the three types of dyslexia and which one it is that Russ has, dysphoneidetic or "mixed" dyslexia which means he has a little bit of all the characteristics...this is extremly common. Why at this moment am I so relieved that I cannot even hear what she is saying any longer? Why, why in the world would I be so elated that she just reveled test results confirming my child's disorder? It is because now, now we can begin to learn, to heal...now we begin to live!

Our meeting goes on for about an hour and we leave knowing that Russ, who should rate about a 3.2 (third grade, second month) is on average a 1.5 (first grade, fifth month). Bless his heart...I cannot imagine his stuggles, trying to do third grade work on a first grade education/ability...the clarity at this point is sickening! However disheartning the results maybe, there is such hope. Hope that when he reaches 4th grade, he will be able to function completely, without need for modification, AT GRADE LEVEL! Who would have ever thought?

We start next week, we start with the plan. All I have been needing for weeks is a plan and now we have it...now we have the plan.