The Shiny Sticker

As is my new school-evening routine, I head straight for the backpack and whip open his blue “beary special” folder to behold the shiny sticker, confirmation that we are still on track. Today, there is no sticker! As my heart falls completely to the floor, I remove a two page (one page, front and back) note from my dear friend, Kim. It starts out so innocent “Hey Girl”, immediately taking a negative turn to “we experienced much frustration today”. I can still feel my insides turning over and over as my heart sinks deeper and deeper into my stomach. The note, written as sweetly and delicately as possible, goes on to describe multiple episodes throughout Caleb’s day. I want to cry, I want to hide, I want to disappear, but I just keep reading. He is such a precious child, but when he is upset or frustrated, nothing is off limits. I am sickened by Kim’s gentle description of the events and at this point, I don’t even know what to say to him. Where do we go from here? It was all hours ago, which might as well be days ago to a five-year-old. So, after several deep breaths and more “help me Jesus cries”, I ask Caleb about his day. “It was fine.” What do you say to a kindergartener who thinks a two-page-note-kind-of-day was “fine”?

We talk about calling our friends names, (which by the way was the least of his offenses today) and how it makes them feel. In full Caleb-style, he turns his face from me and refuses to talk or acknowledge my presence. This is my least favorite part of being a mom. So, we’re off to the corner where “you will sit until you’re ready to talk to me about this. You are not in trouble for your day, but you are in trouble for being disrespectful to me”. I have been dealing with this for five minutes today and I’m exhausted from it. I am horrified for Kim as she got all seven hours of it! After a “short” reflecting period, Caleb “is ready to talk about it.”

He didn’t mean to call his friend a name and knows it hurt his feelings; he is so sorry. But he DID NOT kick mulch on Ms. Pantall, she is “not right” but yet she’s “not lying” to me either. The conversation goes on for what seems like eternity, but is in reality probably only about 5 minutes. We discuss all the incidents and why they cannot happen again and end on a note of “tomorrow is going to be a great day again!”

I say that to him with such surety, such a positive attitude, such determination, but I cannot help but wonder what it will really be like. I wish I could be in his little head to figure out exactly what it is that causes him to believe this is all okay. Don’t get me wrong, he isn’t out there abusing anyone or calling them really nasty names, but we’re not measuring the “level” of disrespect, its disrespect and disregard in any form that isn’t acceptable.

My sweet friend ends her summation of the day with “we will work through this and it will be okay, do not worry”. She is a blessing; I again thank God we are in her class. What would we do without her? Thank goodness she is not the faint at heart and that we have such a great partner in this journey. There is a long road ahead and success will be measured by many different milestones, but the first and foremost is hoping that tomorrow brings another shiny sticker!